Tom Asacker

The five stages of business grief

I was recently discussing organizational entropy with some executives (the details are irrelevant), and realized that many of them were experiencing different stages of business grief (Kübler-Ross model):

1. Denial - "We're fine. We're viable. We're as good as they are, if not better. It's simply a communication and perception problem."
2. Anger - "What's wrong with those people? I wish they'd open their eyes. This simply isn't fair."
3. Bargaining - "Just let me keep it going a little longer, until somtheing changes or until I can get out."
4. Depression - "It's over. We're finished. Screw it! Why should I bust my a**? What's the point?"
5. Acceptance - "Times changed, we didn't. No problem, we can change too. Everything will be okay, albeit different."

I've personally experienced each stage over the years, and I've discovered only one way forward, one way beyond grief and back into the world of possibility.

We must accept our status quo and perceive our denial for what it really is: a defensive response to outside forces, psychological armor to protect us from short term pain and fear of the unknown.

That armor is our enemy. It will slow us down, smother our passion, and suck the life out of us and our organizations.

Remove the armor, pull in a deep breath of fresh, 2011 air, and get on with the business of creating something exciting and meaningful.

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, "Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist but the ability to start over." Stop contemplating the past; there are no answers there. The answers lie out there, in the lives of those you hope to serve.

Yes, hold onto the lessons learned. And of course, carry your strengths with you into the future. But let go of who you think you are. Otherwise you will never become who you are meant to be.

The Molehill Man

I purchased a new car last month; I needed one. I was hesitant to take possession in the dead of winter having slid off the road on a number of occasions over the years. But, like I said, it wasn’t a discretionary purchase.

Last week a hunk of ice fell from a building and crushed . . . okay dinged its pristine, and flimsy, hood. I was beside myself. I hadn’t even had the pleasure of escorting it to its debut oil change.

For the next several days, I obsessed over that stupid ding. I eyeballed it from multiple angles and in different lighting. I tried to push it out with the heels of my palms. I even Googled “How to get rid of a ding on the hood of a car.” (FYI: Don’t try).

The reality? That ding had absolutely no impact on my work, well-being or relationships, and therefore should have been a temporary annoyance, at worst. But my mind created its own reality and turned that trivial molehill into a meaningful mountain.

As I thought more about it, I realized that my ding obsession was strangely similar to the inconsequential concerns of most busy professionals. Our preoccupation with order and structure, our obsession with numbers and interpersonal control, is, in fact, a pseudo-reality.

The 20th century comedian and radio personality Fred Allen once quipped, “A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 a.m. and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.”

Molehill men believe that perfection and productivity are attributes of a strong individual. We assume that rigid methods and control keep everyone secure and in their places. The reality? Our obsession produces an inflexible institution of the mind that majors on the minor; one that crams all day at the expense of curiosity, reflection, and growth.

Are you preoccupied with to-do lists, spreadsheets, and schedules? Is your day filled with routines and rules? Do you spend more time creating reports and attending meetings, than perfecting your craft and engaged in the world of your audience? Congratulations! You’re a molehill man (or woman).

Molehill men are our own, and others, worse enemies. We slowly, and unknowingly, suck the potential and life out of ourselves and our organizations. But molehill men are not pathological. Our focus on the immediate and unimportant is simply a means of coping with our present reality, our situation-induced anxiety.

If you feel yourself coping instead of creating, it’s time to shake things up. When the familiar becomes the focus, it’s time to experiment. Don’t lumber along in the same old routine, change direction. Stop trying to control an unknowable future and instead be a connected and passionate part of the here and now.

Be present and pay attention to the world and your place in it. Sit quietly, reflect, and ask, Am I making a difference? Is my work moving people forward, toward a worthy ideal, meaning, and a better life. Is this the best that I can do? Will my children be proud of my actions?

Change the patterns of your life. Call a customer, thank her for her business and ask her how to improve and add even more value to her life. Give back by starting a community good works project. Take some maverick employees to lunch.

Shift your perspective. Let the pull of what excites and intrigues you be your guide. Do anything to get your mind off of your “ding” and out of your rut. It will revitalize your business and make you more attuned to opportunities.

Just don’t park under an ice-covered roof.

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The real reason Groupon's Super Bowl ad missed the mark

By now you're probably well aware of online coupon site Groupon's failed foray into the big time of national advertising. If not, just Google "Groupon Withdraws Contentious Super Bowl Spots."

So how could a bunch of really smart people--Groupon's execs are geeks, remember--completely botch such an elementary assignment?

Simple. They didn't have a model to assess cultural ideas, nor a way to size up the people and organizations who pitch said ideas (in this case, ad agency CP+B). In fact, they probably still don't have one.

So, they did what most harried business people do. They based their decision on what "felt" right to them at the time; the relationship and recommendations of their agency "friends" (a.k.a. the pitch), their initial, contextually-biased viewings of the commericial, the opinions of peers, etc.

And that's why they missed the mark. No framework, wildly unexpected results.

Do you have a model? Do you have a perceptual lens to bring the marketplace and your ideas clearly into view? If you do, please let me know. I know of, and have worked with, only an elite few who actually employ one. Note: CP+B has one, but in my opinion it's woefully flawed.

Unfortunately, most organizations have neither a unifying perspective that inspires them, nor a framework to guide their actions. So they end up bouncing from one tactic and consultant to another, looking for shortcuts and tossing things against the wall to see if they'll stick. A reckless way to run a business in today's unforgiving marketplace.

Do I have a framework? Absolutely. And a component of mine dictates that our actions and communication be reflective of our audience; their situations, their hungers, and, especially their sense of self. Because what matters most is not what people think about you or your idea, but rather how you make them feel about themselves and their decisions in your presence.

Groupon caused the viewing audience to feel like shallow hypocrites. Take a look:

By contrast, how do you feel about yourself, and by association Apple, as you watch this: