Social media is today's fence

When I was a boy, my friends and I would frequently congregate at "the fence;" a non-branded, influence-free location beneath one of the few working street lamps in our distinctly blue-collar neighborhood.  If you wanted to get to know us, you met us there, exchanged pleasantries, and then quietly planted your butt off to one end of it.

Over time, you could accumulate enough information about what interested us to offer up your own interesting and relevant information, with no fear of rejection or ridicule.  However, if you had a tendency to ramble, repeat yourself, or repeat others, we'd eventually let you know about it and then tune you out.  

Sure, we all tried to wiggle our way to the center and influence each other, just like we do today.  And, just like now, the astute of the bunch caught on pretty quickly to the maneuverings of the others.  But we never let on that we knew.  That wouldn't have been cool.  Instead, we simply raised our eyebrows and shook our heads, usually behind the offender's back.

When we were kids, raised eyebrows and smirks used to happen in proximity to the other, albeit stealthily.  Today, we keep those sentiments to ourselves.  Sure, sometimes we share our feelings via direct messaging or email to another virtual fence sitter. But not typically.

Social media is today's fence.  Please don't delude yourself.  Just because we haven't called you out, which we'd do on the real-world fence if the offender started to proselytize or became a little too full of himself, that doesn't mean that we're all nodding in virtual agreement with everything that you say and do.

Posted September 12, 2009
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Judith Ellis

Good post. Reading it I wondered if there is a kind of bantering that happens on these social media tools all the time. Sometimes it's sociable and other times it's down right in your face challenging.

Perhaps it's a matter of which site and which tool and whether the reader responds in her own name or another or perhaps not even at all. (I like what you’ve written here that questions unhealthy egos.) The proximity, as you've written of here, could be a marginalized thing or the mere fear of it. Do we then lack the ability to have honest discourse?

I must say in my neighborhood ob our fence you were outright challenged, none of that raised eyebrows, shake of the head or behind the back stuff there. You expressed yourself. Going behind the back of others was considered lame, something you did not want to be by any means.

Something else comes to mind. It depends on who the blogger or tweeter is typically matters in the kind of response. This is unfortunate for the one who blogs or tweets. How do we grow further still if we are not challenged?

Thanks for the thoughtful post.

Posted by: Judith Ellis | September 12, 2009 at 08:53 PM

Strategic Growth Advisors

The coming of the digital age welcomed the arrival of modern tools that surely made our lives even more pleasant: colored television sets, mobile phones, portable music players, electric dishwashers, as well as a plethora of gadgets that we can't seem to live without these days.

In my own perspective, I think that the social media -- the new fence -- that we have the privilege of using in the present is also an upgraded version of the usually wooden, white variety we used to spend time chatting with friends and meeting new acquaintances.

Maybe in the next few years or so, some new adult will also post something that compares whatever new social media format with the present one we have.

Posted by: Strategic Growth Advisors | September 13, 2009 at 10:24 PM

Dan Nims

Yes, the digital age does provide us with opportunity to 'weigh in' on a wide variety of subjects,in front of people we know only superficially.

I've found it very interesting to read what someone posts after I've made a statement. Sometimes it's a compliment, sometimes I'm taken to task with an opposing view. On balance, I believe that posting on Facebook and other sites is healthy and maybe even does some good. We all struggle 'trying to get along' and 'wanting to assert ourselves' which is a good set-up for conflict. Are the social networking sites making a difference in anyone's life?
I'd say 'yes' but don't let it go to your head.

Posted by: Dan Nims | September 25, 2009 at 09:08 PM

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